11 Things to Do in Philly This Week: Lots of Food, Music for a Cause, and Strange Underwater Creatures

Mommie Queerest with Martha and Bearded Ladies

Don’t f*ck with me, fellas! This ain’t my first time at the rodeo! I am willing to take bets that we’ll be hearing this line, plus many others, at the upcoming collaboration between The Bearded Ladies and Dito van Reigersberg. The dynamic duo will be camping it up for their final performance of their aptly titled special benefit Mommie Queerest, where Bearded Ladies Artistic Director John Jarboe and van Reigersberg will fight to the finish (Bring me the axe!) to see who will star as Joan Crawford in their show within a show. Audience members are encouraged to come "dressed" for the occasion don’t don’t be surprised when you see people getting fake bitch-slapped in the lobby. February 2nd, 6:15-8:30, Wilma Theater, 265 South Broad Street. —Bryan Butler.