Crankcase
What’s Going to Happen to All the Crap I’ve Accumulated When I Die?
Not too long ago, we had guests over to the house — a rare event anymore, even as we all slowly reenter the World of […]
2020 Even Ruined Snow Days. Great.
It’s the winter of 1964. I’m eight years old, in the second grade, living with my parents and three siblings in Glenside, a sleepy Montco […]
Now That I Never Leave My House, I’m Getting to Know All About the Spiders Who Live Here With Me
Late in summer, I was sitting at my kitchen table, right in the spot where I’ve sat every morning for the past 10,423 days. It […]
There’s Not a Company Name Cute Enough to Mask the Dark Side of Corporations
In 1963, when I was in second grade, I entered the classroom one day with my fellow students following our usual rousing session of morning […]
I Wanted New Wall-to-Wall Carpet. He Wanted a New Sidewalk. 25 Years Later, We Have Neither
Marriage is a mystery. The notion that anyone should ever be able to find another human being with whom to happily spend, oh, say, 40 […]
Hey, How About We Just Let Christmas Cards Die?
My dad retired from his job when he turned 60, which was way too young. I know it was too young because he spent the […]
Philly Used to Be a Cat Town. Now It’s Gone to the Dogs.
When I moved to this city fresh out of college in 1978, I brought with me my cat, Julio, who’d been living (illicitly) in my […]
Millennials! Get Over Your Blankies and Stuffed Animals and Grow Up Already!
I was leafing through my copy of Us Weekly the other day — hey, I’m trying to save a dying industry here — when I […]
Food Expiration Dates Are a Hoax and You’re Dumb to Believe Them
Not long ago, I was in what the kids at work call the “cafe” but I call the “lunchroom,” retrieving my yogurt from the refrigerator, […]
How Alexa Ruined My Marriage
My husband Doug and I were watching the halftime show of a nationally televised Sixers game when he squinted at the screen. “Who’s that on […]
Freaks and Geeks
Back in August, this magazine moved its offices from 19th and Market to the Curtis Center at 6th and Walnut, home for decades to the […]
Crankcase: Happily Never After
There was something oddly familiar about David Sills’s story. Oh, in many ways, his life is one-of-a-kind. Maybe you remember how he soared to fame […]
This Is How We Do It
A few summers back, my daughter Marcy and her brand-new husband Basil spent their honeymoon with our extended family in Ocean City, New Jersey, in […]
How Millennials Are Ruining the Workforce
As a boomer, I have a special interest in millennials. It’s the same sort of interest I have in car wrecks: I don’t want to […]
Caitlyn Jenner, Rachel Levine, and the “Joys” of Womanhood
“It’s called a ‘lob,’” my daughter Marcy says a little shyly, turning to model 360 degrees of her new haircut. “For ‘long bob,’ you know?” […]