How to Choose Your Attendants Without Offending Anyone

Now that you’ve been proposed to, it’s time to do some question-asking of your own—to the important people that’ll be your attendants, of course. Lately couples have taken this opportunity to get super creative, and with just one click of a mouse you’ll find that the Internet is teeming with a billion different ways to pop the question to your best ladies and gents.

Asking, however, is the easy part. It’s choosing who among your closest family and friends will stand by you on your Big Day that can be the challenge, especially when there are plenty of people in the running. This decision can oftentimes come with a fear of hurt feelings or a sense of obligation, which can make choosing all the more difficult. “Remember, above all else, it’s about who you see with you as you take vows and profess your love,” says Phyllis Jablonowski, CEO of Queen of Hearts Wedding Consultants and Eventricity. “Whether it’s your best friend, your brother or sister, or someone else of your choosing, be sure you are surrounding yourself with love and support.”

To make this touchy situation a bit easier to get through and to spare as many feelings as possible, use your best judgment when determining who will be an attendant. Take a good look at your relationship with each person. How long has this person been in your life and has your relationship stood the test of time? Have they proven to be a reliable, consistently solid friend? Can you imagine your wedding day without them in it? Are they in a position to fully commit to being an attendant? These are just a few of the questions that’ll help you narrow down your list of potential attendants.

You’ll also have to keep in mind the logistical side of things, like the size of your wedding party and the added cost. Deciding on a concrete number of attendants will prevent you from adding extras because you feel obligated to.

As far as breaking the news to someone that unfortunately they won’t be in the wedding party, it should be approached with care. Though no one should automatically assume that they’ll be included in your Big Day, the truth is that many times people do. This is where additional roles come in. Let people know that their presence is still important by assigning them another role within your wedding, that way they’ll remain involved without having to be an attendant.

Still need help sorting all this out? Let the planners at Eventricity guide you through it from start to finish. For more information, visit eventricity.net.