Why I Stopped Wearing Bras and Embraced the Boob Turban

My mortal enemies. | Shutterstock.

Several months ago, I gave up on bras. Real bras, with cups and underwires and fancy lace and skinny straps. I gave them up to preserve my sanity, really: I couldn’t take one more day of feeling my bra straps snake down my arms. No matter how well-fitted my bra was, or how tightly I adjusted the straps, I couldn’t make it out my front door without the straps making a run for my elbows.

So I figured I’d avoid the strap-thing entirely, and I accepted the bandeau as my fate. For those unfamiliar with the bandeau, it is basically a boob turban. Here is a picture.

Now, my bandeaus aren’t that pretty. They are much more utilitarian: a narrow swath of (usually black) fabric that, when my shirt is off, sort of makes it look like I’m walking around with a black censor bar over my chest. As far as bras go, I’m basically wearing the equivalent of a chastity belt.

Then I stumbled across this post, which might just hold the answer to my strap issues. Evidently, it’s the not the bra that’s the culprit here; it’s the shape of my shoulders. According to the post, my shoulders are either too narrow or too downward-sloping to hold up a strap. (I think it’s the latter.) In any case, they claim that a U-shaped bra will solve my problems:

“U-back style bras prevent slipping because they generally have narrower-set straps and the additional coverage (compared to a bra with a traditional back) creates a more secure fit to the body.”

A-ha! I checked out the goods at local lingerie shop Hope Chest. They’ve got this one, which has the closer-set straps I’m looking for. Here’s one that looks like it will never move, ever. And, better yet, this one, with a criss-crossed back.

The original post also offers some good options for us small-shouldered gals—with nary a boob turban in sight. Perhaps I’ll give the whole bra thing another go. For now.

Have bra issues of your own? Leave ’em in the comments.