The Grossest, Weirdest Perfumes Ever

Don't you want to smell like an earthworm?

By Marina Lamanna· 2/11/2014, 12:35 p.m.

Purchasing perfume can be a very intimate experience. Each scent smells differently based on one’s body chemistry. That means that no matter how hard I try, lemon verbena is always going to make me smell like Pine-Sol and not like the citrusy goddess I envision, and I have to accept that.

These gross perfumes are not examples of that. When Be Well editor Emily Leaman tipped us off to Demeter’s pizza perfume, we had a good chuckle. Then we realized this wasn’t the first time someone dreamed up pizza perfume (that honor goes to Pizza Hut), and then we became concerned. What other weird perfumes were out there? How many? And more importantly, who buys them?

Apparently, the answer is a lot. We came across everything from bacon to earthworm fragrances. If you finish reading this blog post ready to detoxify your nostrils, we’ll understand.

Bacon

Pros: It's vegan and gender neutral. Cons: Well, you'll smell like bacon. Available at Fargginay.

The Library

We love books as much as the next person, but smelling like them is where we draw the line. Available at CB I Hate Perfume.

Earthworms

What's most perplexing (aside from, ya know, earthworm perfume) is that the reviews are really positive. Available at Demeter Fragrance.

Paint Perfume

When sprayed, a vibrant cobalt blue will appear on your skin and clothes. Sure, it begins to disappear in seconds, but it shouldn't have been there to begin with. Available at Boudicca.