This Exists: The Lip Plumper Pump

While making my internet rounds this morning, I stumbled across a clip shared by beauty blog Into the Gloss of a North Texas ABC Affiliate news channel hawking the benefits of Cynthia Rowland’s Luscious Lips Lip Pump. Available for $49.95, the pump is intended to replace injections, creams and glosses for women in pursuit of pillowy pouts. How it works: Position the cylindrical tube on your mouth (stifle your teenage-boy-esque giggles), suck, then pump slowly for about two minutes (seriously, keep biting your tongue) to bring blood to the skin’s surface. I guess we kind-of-sort-of-maaybeee saw an increase in the model’s lip size (to be fair, the product is said to be more effective over time), but the ridiculousness dampens any initial intrigue.

The verdict is still out on the long-term effects of attaching an air pump to your pucker, but in the meantime, may we suggest one of the—admittedly more discreet—17 lip plumping varieties available at Sephora?