Everything You Need to Know About Making Your Wedding Guest List
It all begins with the quality of your friendships, says Akua Darko, founder of wedding and event planning studio Phuliffects Events.
Everything you need to know about building your wedding guest list /Photograph by gorodenkoff for iStock / Getty Images Plus
This past weekend, Philadelphia Wedding editor Kristen Schott found herself watching Father of the Bride, with Steve Martin. One of the many hilarious scenes in the movie is when the family is around the kitchen table, trying to narrow the wedding guest list to 150. Parents Nina and George Banks go back and forth on who to invite, with George becoming more and more over-the-top in his suggestions. “Why don’t we just charge people, that way we can make money on the wedding?” says bride Annie at one point. It’s funny, yes, but it also speaks to how difficult it can be to figure out who and should not be on your list.
That’s why we chatted with Akua Darko, founder of Exton-based wedding and event planning studio Phuliffects Events, to get tips. For Darko, it all begins with the quality of your friendships. If you haven’t spoken with a friend in the past year, that person probably shouldn’t attend your wedding. And don’t fall into the social media trap — some people may reach out after seeing your engagement online and become your “bestie” … for now. Here’s what else to know about your wedding guest list.
Rely on your numbers.
You have limited capacity, and prices typically rise as you add more attendees. Be honest, and let people know you can’t accommodate everyone. They’ll hear you out. And it saves non-locals travel time and cost.
Divide your list into tiers.
List A: The people you know are coming. These are typically your immediate family and longtime friends. List B: Those you want to come but are unsure if they can make it. List C: Attendees you may not have space for. List D: The folks your parents or extended family members want to attend.
However, be willing to make allowances for your parents’ guest lists — particularly if any of them are paying.
A good rule of thumb: Provide both partners’ families a number to limit their choices in a respectful way. If it’s 200 guests total, give each set of parents 50 invites.
Remember, this is your day.
You shouldn’t be surrounded by people you hardly know. You’ll be much happier if you figure out who you want to come and have the hard conversations early.
Want more great wedding planning tips? Check out our Local Wedding Guides here.
Published as “Narrowing Our Guest List Is Hard! Who Should Actually Attend Our Wedding?” in the Summer/Fall 2024 issue of Philadelphia Wedding.
