The Onion’s Hilarious Mock Wedding Profile

Disclaimer: Only click on the link below and read if you are at a point in the wedding-planning process where you can laugh at it all, yourself, and the whole thing in general. If you are at a point in the wedding-planning process where you are currently fighting the urge to rip your hair out, scream at your mother, or succumb to stress and take a nap under your desk, maybe save it for another day.

The Onion, the satirical newspaper and website that we imagine you have lost as many procrastinational hours to as we have, recently published an article describing the soon-to-happen nuptials of a “horrible couple,” in which they detail how said couple wants the wedding to be “a true reflection of who they are as human beings.” Basically, they poke fun at every wedding cliche out there, and, if you meet all the criteria in the disclaimer written above, you will just about die laughing when you read it.

So, for those of you, we just had to share: Enjoy.

Getting married? Start and end your wedding planning journey with Philadelphia Weddings' guide to the best wedding vendors in the city.