Philly Mayor Laughably Tells Restaurants to Relax About Super Bowl Parade
Restaurateurs are concerned about the parade date coinciding with Valentine's Day. But the mayor says there's nothing to see here.
Philadelphia Mayor Cherelle Parker trying to convince Philadelphia restaurants that the Eagles Super Bowl parade will not conflict with Valentine’s Day reservations (image courtesy 6ABC)
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Philadelphia Mayor Cherelle Parker Laughably Tells Restaurants to Relax About Super Bowl Parade Conflict
As you no doubt know by now, the Eagles Super Bowl parade is happening this Friday. And what else is this Friday? Valentine’s Day. (Did you forget?) And what do people who buy into Valentine’s Day do on Valentine’s Day? They go out for fancy dinners. So the confluence of the Super Bowl Parade with Valentine’s Day has some Philadelphia restaurant owners fretting. They’re worried about potential cancelations and no-shows.
As of right now, a thoroughly unscientific survey of the restaurant reservation apps Resy and OpenTable suggests that these cancelations haven’t hit yet, at least not en masse.
On Monday morning, as we started hearing that the Super Bowl parade would likely be this Friday, I checked reservations for some of Philadelphia’s best restaurants and top restaurant neighborhoods for this Friday evening. And all of the city’s top restaurants were fully booked for the night. I checked again last night. Same thing. Again Tuesday morning. Yep, booked. But there’s still plenty of time to cancel reservations, and many restaurants don’t have penalties for no-shows.
On Monday, Philadelphia restaurant publicist Kory Aversa went on an online tirade over the situation, lambasting officials for allowing the Super Bowl parade on one of the year’s most popular days for dining out. He accused officials of not doing their research, adding that it’s not “rocket science” that a Super Bowl parade will negatively impact restaurants on Valentine’s Day. Some restaurateurs also went online to post their dismay.
Well, Philadelphia Mayor Cherelle Parker and other city officials gathered at City Hall on Tuesday morning at 11 a.m. to go over details for the Eagles Super Bowl parade, many of which you can read in our ever-evolving guide to the event. And it was clear that Parker and others were well aware of the restaurant community’s tumult.
Within a few minutes of the start of her remarks, just after she congratulated the Eagles for the win and quipped that she now spells the name of the team “N-F-L-C-H-A-M-P-I-O-N-S” (a nod to her recent “E-L-G-S-E-S” gaffe), Parker addressed the Valentine’s Day question.
“I’ve heard a lot of people say, ‘Wait, Friday is Valentine’s Day, we made arrangements, we made dinner reservations,'” Parker told the packed room as Swoop stood behind her left shoulder. “To all in our restaurant community, we want you to know that we will be prepared. Nothing will interfere with our restaurant reservations on that evening. We will be done well before you are to appear for dinner. So don’t you dare touch any of those reservations!”
Right, so the Mayor of Philadelphia is trying to tell you that in a city where we rip giant poles out of the ground and parade them around on the street, indiscriminately set fires ablaze, launch fireworks, fire guns in the air, absolutely obliterate traffic lights, and just generally cause chaos and mayhem, that things will go back to business as usual on Valentine’s Day in time for your 7 p.m. reservation at Parc because the parade will have ended by then. I have a hard time believing that she believes a word of that.
Speaking of Unsportsmanlike Conduct…
When you’re going to get into a fight on Sansom Street and you decide to slam your opponent into a parked car, you might want to be sure you know who is in said car. (You need to watch this one until the end. It’s only 45 seconds.)
And More Unsportsmanlike Conduct…
Our post-Super Bowl antics made it into the mouth of Jon Stewart last night. He even called us a shithole! Hey, Jon, only we are allowed to call Philly a shithole. Anyway, it’s hard to imagine why, with national coverage like this, people might not want to hang out at Philly’s restaurants after the parade. Maybe just do what I do: Go out to dinner with your loved one on another night! The date means nothing!
But Enough With the Negativity!
From People mag: “10 Adorable Shots of Philadelphia Eagles Celebrating the Super Bowl with Their Extremely Cute Kids.”
Oh, and Here’s Some Reader Mail
I’m not sure if this guy is responding to the column I wrote yesterday that a lot of people read but didn’t seem to agree with, or if he just decided to shoot me an email. Anyway, I like some of his points.
This comes from Carmen:
Philly sports fans are kind but not nice. We are abrasive. Always have been. Can’t. Change. Won’t. Change. We’ve also been largely disappointed for the balance of our lives. Deeply and humiliatingly so by the Eagles, Phillies, Sixers and Flyers. But we are accountable. To ourselves and each other.
Outsiders question our bad behavior and rightly so, because our bad apples are worse. And we tell them so. To their face. An inch away. Loudly.
But watch ten people move your stalled car. See a big, intimidating guy telling a family from the Midwest where to find Ben Franklin’s grave or a secret spot for great cheesesteaks or even better, a real roast pork sandwich.
They are kind.
And they will give you shit the entire time because they know what it’s like to be teased and mocked for their unwavering fandom. Come back when the Eagles post a losing season (it’ll never happen, I hear every Eagles fan scream) and you won’t be able to tell the difference in the jokes, jibes and jeers.
Why?
Because we support our own. Win, lose or draw. Because they are ours. Not yours. You wanna bandwagon a team, bandwagon a losing Philly team. You’ll have more fun. Trust me. Up or down, high or low, it’s a culture. Bradley knows it. Kevin knows it. But so do Jalen and Nick, Bryce and Chase, Allen and Dr. J. And of course, Michael Jack Schmidt.
We speak a different language of kindness. A secret dialect of dickheadedness that we own with every lox, oxtail stock, and smoking barrel of tailgate porchetta.
Seriously. Very seriously.
The proof is in that much maligned but supremely Philly word: dickhead. When you hear it, you know you’re home. That’s not an accident. As much as the world has tried to embrace jawn, we keep dickhead for ourselves. It’s a pointed word. Not likely to be confused with another in a crowded room or open parking lot. It is, like Philly, singular in shape and sound. Just as “eggs” becomes “aygs” and “legs” becomes “laygs”, so too, in Philly, does “you” become “youse” which becomes “yiz”.
Why?
Because we said so, dickhead.
That’s why no one likes us and we don’t care. We get enough love from each other. We don’t need yours.
Carmen, I stand and applaud you.
Local Talent
One more thing I love about former Eagles player and constant Delco presence Jason Kelce: He is a man who knows his feelings and how to express them.
