Ex-Gubernatorial Hopeful Doug Mastriano Has No Idea What Drones Look Like
Dude wanted to be our governor. Now he’s on a more important mission — to take on the Galactic Empire and destroy the Death Star.
Is this what Doug Mastriano thinks drones look like? Exclusive footage from the skies over Ocean City last night. Definitely not a scene from a Star War. / Credit: 20th Century Studios
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Ex-Gubernatorial Hopeful Doug Mastriano Criticizes Biden for His Handling of the Drone Wars
Question: Does right-wing Pennsylvania state senator Doug Mastriano — currently suing people who criticized his book — believe this is a photo of a real actual drone somebody shot down? And then loaded it onto a tractor trailer? It sounds like he does. But it’s definitely a TIE Fighter. Like, from Star Wars.
It is inconceivable that the federal government has no answers nor has taken any action to get to the bottom of the unidentified drones. The fecklessness of this administration was on display last year when a Chinese surveillance balloon was allowed to fly over the entire… pic.twitter.com/qWqyH3dnkI
— Senator Doug Mastriano (@SenMastriano) December 16, 2024
Doug’s right. It is inconceivable.
Dude wanted to be our governor. Now he’s on a more important mission — to take on the Galactic Empire and destroy the Death Star. Begun, the drone war has.
In Other Drone News
- Based on the footage they’ve seen, several government agencies think people are mistaking helicopters, planes and stars for mysterious spacecraft.
- For instance, this wasn’t a drone, it was a medical helicopter.
- And this is just Venus.
- New Jersey just got some new high-tech drone detection systems to protect sensitive targets. I hope it’s more drones. At least then there would be real drones in the drone story.
- “Pennsylvania State Police said they’ve received more than four calls since last Friday from people reporting that they’ve seen drones in the sky.” So, like five?
- New Jersey fire departments are being briefed on how to deal with drone crashes, should they occur. Step 1: say “Welcome to Earth.” Step 2: Punch ’em right in the nose.
- An Atlantic City man has been indicted for allegedly using a drone to “repeatedly drop dye packs into swimming pools.” Is this the first confirmed incident of a drone in New Jersey with malicious intent?
- How to tell the difference between a plane and a drone according to PHL 17.
- How to tell the difference between a plane and a drone according to the Inquirer.
- For the real deal on drones, read this thing I wrote yesterday. TLDR: Aliens.
- The Philly-based Russian national who was arrested for stowing away on a Delta flight to Paris earlier this month is now in FBI custody for allegedly cutting off her ankle monitor and trying to cross into Canada via Greyhound bus. Why is this woman so desperate to leave America right now? Probably drones. Everything’s drones now.
Goodbye, Needles Jones
Rest in peace to musician and performance artist Ira Abromovitz, a.k.a. Needles Jones. The punky “drag pariah of Philadelphia” was a fixture in theaters and night clubs round here, especially during the ’90s and 2000s, and definitely shared a stage with Low Cut Connie more than once.
By The Numbers
$7 billion: Amount in criminal fines and taxes Malvern-based opioid manufacturer Endo was originally ordered to pay by the Justice Department.
$200 million: How much Endo will actually pay, according to a report by the Inquirer and ProPublica.
$100,000: Late fee owed by the Florida-based new owners of the SS United States for not removing the empty husk of a cruise ship from Philadelphia as planned. Meanwhile the Coast Guard has declared the ship “unfit for travel.” Yeah, duh. I’ve been in line for the midnight buffet for hours and all I got was haunted.
$10,000: Value of merchandise stolen from a Dick’s Sporting Goods in Mount Laurel by five thieves who grabbed a bunch of stuff and walked out the door.
4 years: How long it’s been since Center City had a McDonald’s, but a new Mickey D’s is expected to open at 16th and Chestnut… at some point. In the meantime there’s always good places.
3: Philadelphia Mills, formerly known as Franklin Mills, has announced a new name, Franklin Mall — the site’s third name since it opened in 1989. Serious question: Is Ben Franklin the only guy we can name things after around here?
2.5 to 5 years: Sentence received by the leader of a catalytic converter theft ring in Bucks County.
$13.58: Average increase in electricity bills for PECO customers once a rate hike takes effect in 2025.
33: Cats that need new homes following an ACCT raid on a house in South Philly.
2: Number of planes that bumped into each other on the ground at Philadelphia International Airport on Sunday. The pilots were likely distracted by all the drones.
