Philadelphians Have Sex in Public More Than (Almost) Any Other City

Apparently Philadelphians have a lot of sex in public. / Photograph by Allison Meier

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According to Lucky.me, which is a web site, Philadelphia is a popular place in which to have sex in public. Lucky did a whole survey, asking people in American cities questions about how often they had sex in public, and where, and what base they got to.

Here’s the top 10:
1. Sacramento
2. Philadelphia
3. Denver
4. Portland, OR
5. San Diego
6. Louisville
7. Los Angeles
8. San Francisco
9. Memphis
10. Albuquerque

Second place! We did it! Where everybody could see.

And good for you, Sacramento. You wanted it more. You dug deep and pulled it off. Most of the cities on the list are sunny, but I guess Denver has the whole mile high club thing going on. And Portland is home to the Decemberists, the most erotic rock band in the biz.

Now, usually I disregard all these dumb click-baity city-ranking surveys — most walkable, least Segway-able, worst place to fight a horse — but this one has a filthy ring of truth to it. How many times have you had to step around an orgy at sunset along the Schuylkill River Trail? And who amongst us has not partaken of sensuous over-the-clothes-stuff with an off-duty transit authority cop in the empty upper levels of the Fashion District?

What do you think, Philadelphia? Is this us? Are we passionate or nasty? Or drunk or high? Horny or horngry? Should we, as a city, get a room?

Man Walks Into an Eagles Tailgate and says “Go Steelers”

Pennsylvania Senate candidate David McCormick came to town yesterday and tweeted some things. Which he could have done at home. Where is home? He says Pittsburgh. Others say Connecticut.*

First he went to a tailgate at the Linc and said he was “Excited to watch the Steelers throttle the Raiders!” What, like on your phone?

Then he went to Marconi Plaza to stand in front of the little Christopher Columbus statue with his “friend,” prominent Philadelphia lawyer George Bochetto. Bochetto says has “invested the last four years of [his] life saving this statue and battling the woke democrat administration in Philadelphia.”

My friend George Bochetto has done an incredible job protecting the Christopher Columbus statue here in Philadelphia.

We must preserve Italian-American history! pic.twitter.com/rqa6wwA9iz

— Dave McCormick (@DaveMcCormickPA) October 13, 2024

Are people still coming after that wee Columbus statue? I tried texting my woke mob friends but they’re not up yet. I assume the Delaware Avenue “throbelisk” will get the axe first.

* McCormick, BTW is the Republican running against Bob Casey, Jr. He is currently bleeding in the polls. Some say he’s pulling a Dr. Oz, and doesn’t even live in Pennsylvania. He claims he does live here, in a Pittsburgh mansion. It’s just his school-age children who live in their Connecticut mansion. I hope he checks in on them once in awhile.

Go Fund This

I’m sure you heard that awful story about the emergency room nurses at Penn Presbyterian Hospital who were injured by a hit and run driver over the weekend. Here’s a verified GoFundMe to help out the victims and their families.

By the Numbers

6 oz:  That’s how big the cookies are at NYC-based company Levain Bakery. People lined up down the block for free samples at the grand opening of the Rittenhouse location this past weekend.

$1,950 in Bitcoin:  How much internet scumbags were trying to extort from a Philadelphia woman using the Google Street View Sextortion Scam. If this happens to you, don’t pay them. First of all, they don’t really have “compromising videos.” Second of all, you risk having somebody try to talk to you about the blockchain.

$1.3 Billion  The jackpot on an as-yet unclaimed lottery ticket bought in Neptune, New Jersey.

17:  Number of times Vice President Kamala Harris has visited Pennsylvania this year, counting her campaign stop in Philly on Wednesday.

200-ish: Number of schools, including ones in Philly, whose lunches were potentially affected by a Listeria contamination in chicken products. An Oklahoma company has recalled more than 10 million pounds of poultry products.

94 years: How long Gillian’s Wonderland Pier was in business on the Ocean City boardwalk before it closed yesterday for the last time.

Solve This Tiny Mystery

Saw this little weirdo at the Penrose Diner yesterday. I figure it’s some sort of Halloween decoration but beyond that, it’s a head-scratcher. Is this a character from some children’s television program, or was the sculptor just winging it? Is it a candy corn goblin? A sentient slice of pie? Somebody in a costume? If so, what’s the costume? What’s with the pumpkin bindle? And the bowtie? And those terrifyingly thin, wiry limbs? The more you look, the stranger it gets.