Let This Scandalous Mom Be a Reminder to Not Get Kids Drunk
"Fun mom" no more.
Donald Trump with Pennsylvania mom Clarice Schillinger, who just received her sentence for providing alcohol to her underage daughter and the daughter’s underage friends at a drunken party (photo via Clarice Schillinger for PA campaign page)
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Let Pennsylvania Mom Clarice Schillinger Be a Reminder to Not Get Kids Drunk
Parenting is hard, especially in this day and age. But there are a handful of simple rules you should always stick to. One of them is this: Don’t get your underage kids and their underage friends drunk. And maybe particularly don’t do that when you’re a former political candidate who has pissed a lot of people off with your meddling in local school boards. Alas, Clarice Schillinger didn’t follow this rule.
Who is Clarice Schillinger, you ask? Her name probably isn’t immediately recognizable. But you almost certainly remember the scandal that emerged surrounding her.
Schillinger unsuccessfully ran for lieutenant governor in 2022 and is a prominent Pennsylvania activist in the so-called parental rights movement. She heavily inserted herself into the battle to move Bucks County school boards to the far right. But then things got a little messy.
Schillinger made international news last year after throwing a drunken birthday party for her 17-year-old daughter in their Doylestown home. It all happened in the overnight hours between Friday, September 29th, and Saturday, September 30th. Police responded to a call to Schillinger’s house after somebody complained about noise and intoxicated individuals.
According to court documents, Schillinger provided New Amsterdam vodka and Malibu rum to her daughter and a bunch of other teens in the basement of the home. Not only that. Police said that Schillinger made cocktails for the kids and did shots with them. Oh, and she reportedly played vodka pong with the group. At one point during the tawdry affair, Schillinger was seen sitting in the lap of one of her daughter’s male friends, according to testimony that later played out in court.
Things got a little out of hand, as they tend to do in situations like this. Some of the teens tried to leave. Schillinger ordered them to stay, and when one of the kids tried to defy her command, she allegedly punched him in the face three times, though he told police he was uninjured. Naturally, given her prominence on the Right side of the fence, her arrest after the party led to headlines like “Cool Mom Clarice’s Ongoing Fight for Her Right To Party” and “Straight Outta Doylestown: An Anti-Woke (Moms for Liberty-Adjacent) Bust Out!!!”
Fast-forward to yesterday. Prosecutors dropped the charges that related to punching the daughter’s friend. (Her lawyer had argued that the guy was much, much bigger than Schillinger, at six feet, eight inches tall.) And she pleaded no contest to providing alcohol to minors. The judge sentenced her to 12 months of probation. He also had some choice words for Schillinger, according to the Bucks County Courier Times. “You are no longer going to be the fun mom,” he told her, also stating that it was “offensive that you hold yourself out to be one thing in public [while being] another behind closed doors.”
So what’s next in the life of Clarice Schillinger? Her lawyer says she wants to use her experience to educate other moms and to continue to fight for the rights of parents.
Through a public relations firm, Schillinger put out the following statement:
In the blink of an eye, my life changed, along with the lives of my children. A series of false allegations drawn out in the media have cost me almost everything. No family should ever go through this. Today, almost a year later, my case has been resolved. Finally, we can breathe and focus on rebuilding our lives. With forgiveness in my heart and determination propelling me forward, I embrace the opportunity to rise from adversity and contribute positively to the world. Onward and upward, I march, steadfast in my commitment to serve those in need and to foster healing and hope in our community.
Something tells me this isn’t the last we’ll be seeing of her. Hopefully she gets her act together.
By the Numbers
$40 million: Projected budget for One River Marina, a, well, marina and entertainment complex planned for Northeast Philly, right near the Tacony-Palmyra Bridge. The developers expect to have phase one finished in time for the America 250 celebrations in Philadelphia in 2026, due to all the tourists expected to travel to the area. Because you really want to hop on your yacht in Cape Cod and land in Tacony, just down the street from a huge prison complex.
$30.5 million: Operating loss just reported by Thomas Jefferson University for the first nine months of FY24. But that’s actually good news. During the same time period in the previous fiscal year, TJU reported losses of $117.5 million. Similarly, the Temple University Health System just reported $23.3 million in operating losses. Previous: $53.2 million. I guess sometimes losing many millions of dollars isn’t necessarily bad news.
$14 billion: Budget surplus currently sitting in Pennsylvania’s coffers. Now the question is: How will the state spend it? Naturally, Republicans and Democrats have some very different ideas on how to answer that question.
Local Talent
Temple alum John Oates of Hall & Oates fame releases his sixth solo album this week. You may recall that Oates and Daryl Hall have been ensconced in some serious squabbling of late. And it’s fair to say that Hall doesn’t appear on the album, nor will he be touring with Oates this year — or maybe ever again. Ironically, the name of the new Oates album is Reunion. You can buy/listen to it here. If you want to see Oates do his thing live, you’ll have two chances this summer. He’s at Cape May Convention Hall on August 15th before headlining the apparently-not-dead Philadelphia Folk Fest two days later.
Oh, and as for Daryl Hall, he’s teaming up with Elvis Costello for a show at the Mann on July 10th.
And if all of that sounds way too “old” and “traditional” for you, may I suggest the experimental Philly artist and “poet laureate of the apocalypse” Moor Mother at Solar Myth this Sunday? Or, if that sounds a little too out there for you, go directly to Franky Bradley’s on Saturday night to catch the Best of Philly-winning cabaret act Glitter & Garbage.
And From the Ain’t-No-Stoppin’-Us Sports Desk …
It didn’t take long for either the Mets or the Phils to get on the board in last night’s rain-drenched matchup at CBP. The visitors notched a run in the first off an error by Johan Rojas, a hit batter by starter Ranger Suárez, and a double. But the Phils got it back in that same frame with a Bryce Harper solo homer. New York pulled ahead again in the third on a Pete Alonso double, a Francisco Lindor walk and steal, and a wild pitch. Hmm.
Our guys got something going in the fifth, though, with walks by Edmundo Sosa and Cristian Pache, a Rojas sacrifice bunt on which everyone was safe, a Kyle Schwarber walk that scored Sosa, a J.T. Realmuto single that scored another run, and a Bryce Harper double: 5-2 Phils!
Bryce Harper with the bases loaded this season:
3-for-4, 2 HRs, 1 double, 1 BB, 11 RBIs
3.300 OPS (!!!)
— Philly Sports Sufferer (@mccrystal_alex) May 16, 2024
That brought Grant Hartwick in for starter Joey Lucchesi, and he quelled the rally. Spencer Turnbull came on for Ranger in the sixth for three straight ground-outs, and Hartwig started the bottom of the sixth by beaning Bryson Stott.
CAN THE METS STOP HITTING THE PHILLIES????
— Isko (@Isko_5) May 16, 2024
Sosa then singled him to third, and a bobbled grounder by Pache brought him home. And Sosa scored on a bad throw to first on a Schwarbs grounder. Whew!
Turnbull started the seventh by allowing a single and a walk, and Alonso beat out a double play — until the Phils called for a review that ruled him out. In our half, Adrian Houser, in for Hartwig, handed singles to Harper and Bohm and walked Stott with one out, and Sosa scored Harper on a fielder’s choice that Lindor blew for an error. Pache’s sac fly scored one more, and a Rojas infield hit made it 10-2. Is it luck, or is it skillage? In the eighth, a J.D. Martinez solo homer, a long fly ball that Rojas couldn’t quite get to, and a single up the middle scored three for the Mets, still off Turnbull, but Seranthony Domínguez retired the side on four pitches in the ninth, and it wound up a 10-5 win. One more against the Mets in our house, tonight starting at 6:40.
Any Doop News?
The Union, who have not had a happy season, faced New York City at Subaru Park last night, and the visitors drew first blood, with a goal in the — shit, the second minute? Well, Andre Blake was still out, so Oliver Semmle was in goal. (We kid because we love.) A frustrated Kai Wagner picked up a yellow in the 45th minute, and we sympathized. We were frustrated, too; NYC scored on the ensuing free kick, off the goalpost. What’s happened to our team? They wound up losing 2-1, with our only goal coming from Julían Carranza right after the half. The most exciting part of the (very rainy) match? A raccoon-on-the-pitch ruckus halfway through the first half.
Congratulations to @mark_mello818 and his squad for removing the Subaru Park raccoon.
I can confirm that the Subaru Park raccoon was not part of the MLSPA Salary Guide.
However, the raccoon spent nearly as many minutes on the field as Baribo this year.
VAMOS PHILADELPHIA!!!!… pic.twitter.com/wm2Tn7KCUM
— José Roberto Nuñez (@JoserNunez91) May 16, 2024
Update: The raccoon has been safely relocated and released back into the wilds of Chester.
How About Them Iggles?
Well, their schedule for next season dropped. They still start the season in São Paulo, which … don’t even get us started.
All Philly Today sports coverage is provided by Sandy Hingston.
