New Study Ranks America’s Worst-Run Cities, and Philly Is Number …

Philly: It’s not the worst! / Photograph by Visions of America/Joseph Sohm/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

Check phillymag.com each morning Monday through Friday for the latest edition of Philly Today. And if you have a news tip for our hardworking Philly Mag reporters, please direct it here. You can also use that form to send us reader mail. We love reader mail!

Something called Stacker — one of those create-a-list-so-you-can-troll-for-hits thingies there are so many of out there — compiled a list of the worst-run cities in America, and guess what? Philly ain’t in the Top 10! We’re not even in the Top 15! We do, however, claim the 16th spot on the list. Hey — could be … worse, right? Metrics considered included financial stability, education, health, safety, income stability, violent crime rate, and quality of the roads. Clearly, this is not a serious list.

And in Penn Grad News …

Per a New York magazine article on Tanya Chutkin, the D.C. federal court judge who arraigned Donald Trump yesterday in the case accusing him of election interference, she’s a proud Penn Law grad. So you just know she’ll do the right thing, huh? (He pleaded not guilty, BTW.)

And Speaking of Penn …

A prof there is one of three academics named as co-defendants in a $25 million lawsuit filed in federal court that accuses them of defaming a Harvard business school prof by accusing her of fudging data. The Harvard prof, Francesca Gino, who’s been placed on academic leave there, says the three — Penn’s Joe Simmons, Uri Simonsohn of Spain’s Esade Business School, and Leif Nelson of UC Berkeley — claimed in their Data Colada blog that “many … Gino-authored papers contain fake data. Possibly dozens.” She accuses them of targeting female professors and asserts that Data Colada had no evidence for its claims. Gino’s well-known work involves workplace dishonesty, believe it or not. Several of her co-authored papers have been retracted.

Tired of Penn Yet?

Too bad. If you’ve ever wondered how the other half lives, don’t let your kids see People magazine’s spread revealing 1999 College of Arts & Sciences grad John Legend’s kids’ bedrooms. A video he and wife Chrissy Teigen made for Architectural Digest shows everything a child could ever desire in a living space — and OMG, how your jealous littles will pine for this. The power of Penn …

Not Exactly Green With Envy

Finally, if you, like me, have a hard time comprehending the fuss over the Eagles’ new kelly green jerseys, you may enjoy this anonymous hate email Philly Mag got on the subject:

You people REFUSE to acknowledge the fans that HATE Kelly Green! It’s THE UGLIEST COLOR EVER! The MAJORITY of the Eagles Fan Base prefer MIDNIGHT GREEN! The Eagles are going in the WRONG direction. This ISN’T the Randall Cunningham era. Cunningham NEVER won a Superbowl. He never even MADE it to the Super Bowl! The Eagles made 3 Superbowls wearing MIDNIGHT GREEN! They’ll lose EVERY Game wearing that UGLY COLOR. WATCH. Be careful what you wish for … You just might get it! FAKE G. Fans Against Kelly Green!

Hey, dude, we’re on your side!

And from the Welcome-to-Philly Sports Desk …

In yesterday afternoon’s away Phillies game against the Marlins, a second-inning walk by Nick Castellanos and a homer (!) by J.T. Realmuto put us up 2-0 early.

https://twitter.com/NBCSPhilly/status/1687139899961458688

But the Fish got one back in the bottom of the fourth on a Josh Bell walk and a Jazz Chisholm Jr. double off starter (and new kid in town) Michael Lorenzen, just acquired from the Tigers and clearly showing off in his debut. In the seventh, after Marlins opener Johnny Cueto loaded them up with singles by Bryce Harper and Castellanos and a walk to Bryson Stott, reliever A.J. Puk came on, and Brandon Marsh singled off him to score two more runs.

2 RUN SINGLE FOR MARSH‼️‼️‼️‼️

4-1 PHILLIES‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ pic.twitter.com/CQFRTH1Dwe

— Justin Lever ❤️⚾️ (@JustinLever3) August 3, 2023

A solo homer by Bryan De La Cruz in the bottom half took it to 4-2. Devin Smeltzer replaced Puk for the eighth and notched three straight strikeouts, but Lorenzen was still holding his own. Smeltzer did the job again for the ninth, which brought Seranthony on. Breath duly held. Chisholm, who’d been killing us, singled. Jake Burger popped up. De La Cruz struck out. Jésus Sánchez grounded out to the pitcher. Phew! The Phils win split the series evenly at 2-2.

https://twitter.com/NovaButSports/status/1687171009521041408

For the weekend, the Fightin’s face the Royals at home at CBP, today at 7:05, Saturday at 6:05 and Sunday at 1:35. Is it getting hot in herre?

And in Other Sports:  

The Union faced off against D.C. United in the win-or-go-home Round of 32 in the Leagues Cup on the U’s home field of Subaru Park last night, and man, it was a busy game, with tons of shots on goals, lots of saves by Andre Blake, and pretty even possession through the first half. It was more of the same in the second, and the announcer noted 10 minutes in, “There’s a nervous aura in the arena right now.” In our living room, too.

In the 63rd minute, Julián Carranza scored a wild one, but the deranged officials waved it off for interference. Bah! Guess what the “aura” turned then. Tempers on the pitch flared, too: fisticuffs! Dániel Gazdag damn near won himself a red card but got a yellow. Olivier Mbaizo got a yellow, too, in the 72nd. And Jack Elliott picked up another in the 87th. The U had a corner in the 90th but couldn’t convert. The pace was really intense. On to penalty kicks!

D.C. made its first. Gazdag’s was blocked. D.C. made its second. Carranza made ours. Andre Blake missed on stopping D.C.’s third; three-for-three. Elliott made his. And D.C. missed one, hitting off the crossbar — all righty! It was up to Jack McGlynn, and he evened it up. But D.C. made the next, and it was all up to Jésus Bueno … who nailed it! Even up again. From there on out, it was sudden death. And D.C. hit the goddamn post, with Blake going the wrong way! What a break. Here came Mbaizo, who’s requested to be traded because his wife and kids can’t get here from Cameroon to see him play.

https://twitter.com/PhilaUnion/status/1687287317629730821

Goddamn, he put it in the net. Union win. I’m happy, but damn. As a former goalie, I have to say: PKs suck. Doop, though!

And in other soccer news, the U.S. women play Sweden in the World Cup Knockout Round at 5 a.m. on Sunday in Melbourne. Have a gladsome weekend!