A Definitive Ranking of the Best Halloween Candies, According to a 12-Year-Old
In: Skittles. Out: Almond Joys.
My son’s Halloween take.
Last night, my kids went trick-or-treating in West Philly and Narberth. When I woke up this morning, my son had all of his candy sorted out on the table, in preparation for the massive candy exchange that’s going to go down later today between him and his sister, once she returns from her Halloween sleepover.
Meticulously detailed fellow that he is, he charted out the 414 candy items that he received, noting the quantity for each variety as well as his own personal rating for the candy, from 1 (nasty!) to 10 (awesome!).
The full chart is below, sorted from best to worst and noting how many pieces of each were received.
“Skittles are absolutely delicious,” he proclaims. “There are so many flavors of them. I actually prefer the Sour Skittles, but I didn’t get any. Mom signed me up for this thing where I turn in candy and get $1 per pound of candy, but I think I’m just going to sell some of my candy for 25 cents each and then use that to buy some Sour Skittles … and Legos.”
Note for Halloween 2019: No kid wants black licorice. Seriously.
The candy discards (those are the ones on the tray in the back of the candy photo) include Butterfingers (“They’re disgusting, but my friend’s dad really likes them, so I’ll give them to him”), Primrose Black Taffy (“Who would give out nasty black licorice to a kid on Halloween? Poison yourself!”), Mounds and Almond Joy (“The flavor of coconut is atrocious”), and all Hershey products.
“I really love Hershey Park,” he says. “But their original milk chocolate is too sweet and just plain bad. I actually don’t like most milk chocolates. Oh, and I also don’t like white chocolate.”
Still, he seems to have enjoyed himself.
My son and his friend as Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute from The Office.
“I had a great Halloween,” he insists. “I got 414 pieces of candy, I got to hang out with my friend, and I got to be Michael Scott from The Office for Halloween. What could be better than all that?”
Note that in the table below, he refers to “mini” and “micro” size designations. The “mini” candies are typically sold as the “fun” size in the grocery store, and he’s using “micro” to refer to the even skimpier version.
| Candy | Quantity | Rating |
| Snickers Micro | 14 | 10 |
| Snickers Mini | 12 | 10 |
| Skittles Cauldron | 2 | 10 |
| Skittles Wild Berry | 1 | 10 |
| Skittles Original | 14 | 10 |
| Sour Patch Kids | 12 | 9 |
| Sour Patch Zombie Kids | 2 | 9 |
| Sour Patch Trickster Kids | 3 | 9 |
| Sour Patch Mini | 2 | 9 |
| Starburst | 2 | 9 |
| Starbust Mini | 18 | 9 |
| Jawbuster | 1 | 9 |
| Jawbreaker | 2 | 9 |
| Everlasting Gobstoppers | 4 | 9 |
| Peanut Chews | 2 | 9 |
| 100 Grand | 5 | 9 |
| Sour Patch Tropical | 2 | 8 |
| Reese’s Stuffed With Reese’s Pieces | 1 | 8 |
| Swedish Fish | 9 | 8 |
| Swedish Fish Mirco | 1 | 8 |
| Twix | 5 | 8 |
| Twix Minis | 6 | 8 |
| Mr. Goodbar Mini | 3 | 8 |
| Krackel Mini | 2 | 8 |
| Nerds Lemon Cherry | 1 | 8 |
| Snickers Mini Crispers | 2 | 8 |
| Nestle Crunch Mini | 1 | 8 |
| Nestle Crunch Micro | 4 | 8 |
| Dum Dums Fruit Punch Flavor | 1 | 8 |
| Tootsie Pops Regular Size | 5 | 8 |
| Jolly Rancher Lollipop | 1 | 8 |
| Kit-Kat | 1 | 7 |
| Kit-Kat Mini | 18 | 7 |
| Kit-Kat Micro | 15 | 7 |
| Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups | 6 | 7 |
| Reese’s Mini Cups | 8 | 7 |
| Reese’s Pieces | 1 | 7 |
| Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups Micro | 2 | 7 |
| Lemonheads | 4 | 7 |
| Atomic Fireball | 3 | 7 |
| Nerds Strawberry | 2 | 7 |
| Smarties | 7 | 7 |
| Dove Chocolate | 1 | 7 |
| Maltesers | 2 | 7 |
| Kit-Kat Micro Glow in the Dark | 3 | 6 |
| Trolli Sour Gummies | 2 | 6 |
| Starburst Mini Tropical | 2 | 6 |
| Starburst Mini FaveReds | 4 | 6 |
| Twizzler Mini | 3 | 6 |
| Snickers Mini Peanut Butter | 1 | 6 |
| M&Ms Peanut | 7 | 6 |
| M&Ms Peanut Butter | 2 | 6 |
| Milk Duds | 4 | 6 |
| Tootsie Pops Mini | 5 | 6 |
| Take Five | 1 | 6 |
| Runts | 1 | 6 |
| Glee Gum | 1 | 6 |
| Trolli Sour Gummi Worms Mini | 1 | 6 |
| Heath Micro | 6 | 6 |
| Big League Pop | 1 | 6 |
| Three Musketeers Minis | 5 | 5 |
| Three Musketeers Micro | 2 | 5 |
| Sweet Tarts Mini | 1 | 5 |
| Sweet Tarts Micro | 6 | 5 |
| Nerds Pop | 1 | 5 |
| Tootsie Rolls | 4 | 5 |
| Tootsie Rolls Mini | 5 | 5 |
| Tootsie Rolls Large | 1 | 5 |
| Whoppers | 8 | 5 |
| Rolo | 2 | 5 |
| Charms Sweet Pop | 1 | 5 |
| Charms Mini Sweet Pop | 1 | 5 |
| M&Ms | 12 | 4 |
| Blow Pop | 2 | 4 |
| Tiger Pop | 1 | 4 |
| Milky Ways | 4 | 4 |
| Milky Ways Mini | 9 | 4 |
| Babe Ruth Minis | 1 | 3 |
| Babe Ruth Micro | 2 | 3 |
| Hubba Bubba | 1 | 3 |
| Life Savers Big Ring Sour Gummi | 1 | 3 |
| Double Bubble | 11 | 2 |
| Airheads Blue Raspberry | 2 | 2 |
| Goetze’s Caramel Cremes | 1 | 2 |
| Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups Micro White | 1 | 1 |
| Hershey Cookies and Cream | 4 | 1 |
| Hershey Mini Milk Chocolate | 6 | 1 |
| Hershey Micro Milk Chocolate | 3 | 1 |
| Hershey Micro Milk Glow in the Dark | 1 | 1 |
| Super Bubble | 2 | 1 |
| Chewy Fruity | 16 | 1 |
| Fancy Filled | 1 | 1 |
| Almond Joy | 16 | 1 |
| Butter Fingers Mini | 3 | 1 |
| Butter Fingers Micro | 6 | 1 |
| Butter Fingers Peanut Cup | 3 | 1 |
| Mounds | 1 | 1 |
| Laffy Taffy Sour Apple | 3 | 1 |
| Laffy Taffy Strawberry | 2 | 1 |
| Laffy Taffy Chocolate | 1 | 1 |
| Tootise Fruit Chew Cherry | 1 | 1 |
| Tootsie Fruit Chew Lemon | 1 | 1 |
| Tootsie Fruit Chew Orange | 1 | 1 |
| Tootsie Fruit Chew Lime | 1 | 1 |
| Primrose Black Taffy | 3 | 1 |
