Michael Smerconish Can’t Get Into a Country Club

My name is … Michael Smerconish.

I am … an Independent.

This month’s election … should be about how to change the uncivil nature of our discourse in order to move the country forward. I’m worried about November 7th regardless of who wins on the 6th.

People would be surprised to know that I … have our miniature dachshund, Mr. Lucy, with me when I broadcast. He sleeps. I try
not to be offended.

If I’m going to have one drink, it will be … a gin martini. But I’m currently contemplating a change to old-fashioneds coinciding with the return of Mad Men.

The most difficult interview I ever did … was Barack Obama in the White House in 2009. One-on-one, live on MSNBC, Fox and CNN for 30 minutes. We covered tons of subjects, but the AP only wrote about how I asked—at my kids’ insistence—“What’s in the Book of Secrets?”

One person I’d really like to interview is … Larry David. I have five presidents to my credit, but not the one guy who is my inspiration.

My first computer was … a Tandy from Radio Shack that did word processing.

My parents taught me … that grass doesn’t grow on a busy highway.

One movie I can quote from beginning to end is … Slap Shot. Amazing thing: The ultimate guy’s film was written by a female, Nancy Dowd.

For my first job … I delivered chlorine to Larry Kane’s house while working at Mt. Lake Pool & Patio in Doylestown.

When I was 14 … I saw Lynyrd Skynyrd play “Freebird” at JFK.

If I want to relax … I smoke a cigar before bed. Every night.

On Saturday mornings … I shovel donkey dung. Really. I got my wife six burros for a big birthday. It was four too many.

I am a member of … the Union League, Costco, and a fantastic Italian-American dining club in Reading called Victor Emmanuel’s. I’ve tried to get into country clubs, but they won’t have me.

If I have a reason to celebrate, I go to … the Guard House. My kids used to love to play with the Captain Noah puppet they have there.

The best thing Philadelphia has going for it is … location.

I buy my glasses … from Oliver Peoples in Haverford. Funny. When I do TV, I get more email response regarding my glasses than my content.

The best concert venue in the area is … the Tower, where I’ve seen Yes, David Bowie, Steely Dan, the Foo Fighters, the Black Crowes, Jackson Browne, Peter Frampton, K.D. Lang and Neil Young—the same night we got bin Laden.

If you really want to piss me off … you will say that I voted for Obama in 2008 to boost my job. Not exactly a career enhancer in a conservative industry.

This city needs a mayor who will … synchronize the traffic lights on the Boulevard.

The last time I had hair … was 10 years ago, and I’ve never looked back. I wish I had done it sooner.