NCAA Names George Mitchell as Penn State Integrity Monitor

The NCAA has named former Senator George Mitchell as the Integrity Monitor assigned to make sure Penn State complies with all of its sanctions. Mitchell’s five-year appointment began immediately, and basically grants him use of an all-access, park-hopper pass with that thing that lets you cut the line, too. According to an NCAA statement, he’ll be in charge of ensuring that Penn State sets out to, “enhance adherence to NCAA and Big Ten (Conference) principles, values, ethics and rules.” Mitchell was elected as a Senator from Maine, served as Independent Chairman of the Northern Ireland Peace Talks in the late ’90s, and conducted an investigation into rampant steroid use in Major League Baseball that led to the release of a 409-page report that my college roommates and I turned into a drinking game in 2007. [CBS 3]