Where to Go on a First Date With Someone You’re Only Sorta Into
Cafes, bars, and casual restaurants for when you might need an escape hatch — or at least the possibility of leaving after thirty minutes.
A drink at American Sardine Bar / Photograph by Ted Nghiem
We once heard about a woman who goes on dates in Philadelphia and, if she knows within the first 10 minutes that the dynamic isn’t working, will simply say that she doesn’t think it’s going anywhere, pay her bill, and leave. After just 10 minutes.
This approach is at once impressive and rude. Impressive because: the directness, the comfort with uncomfortable conversations (who among us hasn’t wished they could do this?). Rude because: how does someone on the receiving end recover from that kind of rejection?
That energy—the idea of pondering whether you’re going to walk out on your date after 10 minutes, even if you don’t actually do it—is what this list is about. Consider these excellent first-date spots for when you’re feeling a little skeptical of how things are going to pan out with someone. That’s not to say these restaurants, bars, and cafes aren’t wonderful establishments—they are. But they’re all casual enough for a situation when you might need to bail. Many are appropriate for a daytime date, some don’t involve alcohol at all, and, most importantly, you can be in and out in 90 minutes or less.
Rally Coffee, Bella Vista
Suggesting a coffee date with someone you may or may not be attracted to? Classic. Rally on Bainbridge uses high-quality beans from Blind Tiger Coffee. Plus, there’s plenty of seating and a calming energy that will soothe your nerves. 701 South 7th Street.
El Chingon, East Passyunk
El Chingon is an exceptional Mexican restaurant, but it’s not somewhere you’re going to want to linger with a first date. For one thing, there’s no booze. People are always shuffling in and out, thanks to some very good cemitas and a casual, corner-shop energy. You can get in, eat a sandwich stuffed with chicken milanesa, and then keep it moving—either home or for a drink at Fountain Porter or the Jim if your hopes have been exceeded. 1524 South 10th Street.
Talula’s Daily, Washington Square West
On a date where you aren’t sure about this person yet, you want to be able to choose to opt in or out of sexiness. Lunch works well for this since it’s categorically not as hot as a nighttime meal. But having lunch at a cozy place like Talula’s Daily means you can quickly transition into an energy that says, “I’m feeling good, actually. Maybe I like you and will kiss your face one day.” Make a little small talk over a Caesar salad and a spicy chicken sandwich, then go on your merry way. 208 West Washington Square.
Baklava from Manakeesh Cafe Bakery & Grill / Photograph by Kae Lani Palmisano
Manakeesh Cafe Bakery & Grill, University City
One thing that you should never do is have a bad meal just because you’re maybe going to have a bad date. And one thing that can save a bad date, potentially, is really good food: have it at Manakeesh Cafe. More specifically, eat kafta kebabs, spicy fish platters, pistachio semolina cookies, and raspberry-almond-white chocolate lattes. 4420 Walnut Street.
International Bar, Fishtown
If things get brutally dull on a first date at International Bar, turn to the bartenders: They’re nice, chatty, and might help fill in any awkward silences. Alternatively, the first floor is generally loud enough that you don’t really need to know what your date is talking about, or if they’re talking at all. 1624 North Front Street.
American Sardine Bar, Point Breeze
Simply put, American Sardine Bar exemplifies the category of our city’s perfect, straightforward bars. It’s comfortable without being too sleek or lounge-y, and therefore good for low-pressure conversation over local beer and snacks like a tinned fish board, salt-and-pepper fries, and onion rings. 1800 Federal Street.
Stargazy, East Passyunk
Stargazy serves incredible British pies all day, making this an ideal destination for a casual, middle-of-the-afternoon hang. “Who suggests a meat-pie shop on a first date?” your suitor will wonder about you as you sit with a mini sausage roll. If they’re a good match, they’ll also wonder what other interesting Philly spots you have up your sleeve. 1838 East Passyunk Avenue.
Rybrew, Brewerytown
If you’re worried about trying to get through stilted conversation, choose a place with built-in conversation topics. Exploring the many, many beers in the cases at Rybrew will keep you and this date occupied for quite a while before settling into a high-top table and enjoying your sandwiches. 2600 West Girard Avenue.
Thit kho hash from The Breakfast Den / Photograph by Kae Lani Palmisano
The Breakfast Den, Grad Hospital
Another lunch option is the Breakfast Den, where you can sit together at a small table, sip coffee, and nibble on banh mi with crispy sunny eggs, and test your date by asking if they’re willing to split pancakes. (If not, you’ll be out pretty quick.) 1500 South Street.
Mighty Bread, East Passyunk
On weekdays, Mighty Bread stays consistently relaxed. Whereas things get a bit crowded on weekend mornings. Try going around 1 p.m. for a slightly chiller experience (when you’re sure to get a table), and bond over everything soft pretzels, avocado toast, and rye chocolate chip cookies. 1211 Gerritt Street.
Human Robot / Cantina La Martina, Jenkintown
With a convenient location close to the city and Montgomery County towns, this suburban microbrewery is a good choice for meeting in the middle. At this second Human Robot location, you can try some beer or something non-alcoholic from the full bar, but wait, there’s more. Cantina La Martina—a James Beard Foundation Award nominee—recently took over the kitchen here, so regardless of whether it’s a love match, you can dine on delicious tacos and churros. 208 York Road.
