Death Of Fun: State Legislators Express “Grave Concern” Over Pop-Up Beer Gardens

Because they apparently didn’t have anything better to do with their time, four state legislators–John Taylor, R-Philadelphia, Paul Costa, D-Allegheny, and state Sens. Chuck McIlhinney, R-Bucks, and Jim Ferlo, D-Allegheny–sent a letter to the PLCB on Thursday expressing their “grave concern” over the loophole allowing a whole bunch of restaurants and bars to open temporary-but-kinda-sorta-permanent pop-up beer gardens around Philly.

Their problem with it? That these no-good scofflaws are circumventing the spirit of the law (though not, it should be HUGELY noted, the actual law itself) in a brazen attempt at bringing a little brightness (and booze) to the city at a time when, obviously, what we all want is for it to be more grim and draconian. Because mobs of adults drinking beer in the sun is obviously just the first step on a slippery slope which will inevitably end with happiness and a more vibrant, fun city. And who wants that?

But seriously, guys? Grave concerns? Save your “grave concerns” for issues that actually come with a little in-built weightiness. Like under-funded schools, gun violence, that pee smell in South Philly or murder cats. What you really mean to say here is that you have “petty, wheedling concerns” over the fact that a few clever business owners in town have figured a way to game the laws that legislators wrote in order to make a few bucks and bring some good times to the people of Philadelphia. That you (and maybe a few bar owners worried over the competition) have gotten your undies in a twist over a technicality being exploited by someone other than a lawyer or, you know, a politician.

But hey, you wanna play that game? With your letters to the PLCB and feigned anxiety over such worrisome rogue operations as the Philadelphia Horticultural Society beer garden or the Spruce Street Harbor Park? That’s just fine. Because over at change.org, someone has already started a petition to oppose changes to the PLCB rules. Granted, they’ve only got about 400 signatures now, but we’re calling on every Foobooz reader to get on over there and sign their name so that we can show the politicians that, just this once, we’d like a loophole that benefits us–the drunken, sun-loving day-drinkers of the world–and not just the rich, the powerful and the connected.

Oh, and also? If you could do something about those murder cats? That would be nice, too.

Protect Philly’s Pop Up Beer Gardens [change.org]