Beating The Heat (Or Not) In Center City

That guy there? He should’ve gone to Butcher & Singer where the temperature in the bar is a cool and refreshing 68.5 degrees. Or Happy Rooster on 16th where the 69 degree chill would’ve perhaps alleviated the need for him to strip down to his underthings before passing out in front of that table fan.

Yes, it is hot in Philly today. 98.5 degrees right outside the doors of 1818 Market and climbing towards 102 if the weather-heads are to be believed. But have no fear because Foobooz is there for you. We sent one of our commandos out into the swelter, armed with an instant-read thermometer, and had her check the temps at 19 bars and restaurants around Center City in order to determine which had the best AC and which were actually causing their customers and employees to melt.

The results are a bit surprising, and are causing us to do something we thought we’d never do: recommend a terrible chain restaurant as an afternoon drinking destination. But hey, this is an emergency, right? And we won’t tell if you won’t.

Results after the jump.

Marathon Grill: 71.0 degrees

Marathon has long been one of our fallback destinations when we just can’t tolerate one more minute in our cubicles (but are too lazy to walk more than a couple dozen steps). Today it also makes a nice, cool refuge.

Continental Midtown: 79.5 degrees

This place is always just a bit too hot to be comfortable. If this is where you find yourself, counteract the pit stains and monkey butt with a few cold beers. Or go all Jedi Mind Trick on the heat by ordering the Szechuan shoestring fries with Chinese mustard and just out-hot Mother Nature.

The Dandelion: 81.0

Obviously, Stephen Starr is kind of like my mom when it comes to the thermostat–no one touches it unless they are literally on fire.

Serafina: 75.0

Not cold enough to make fighting the crowds worth it.

Tria: 74.0

Almost 15 degrees cooler than the outside temperature sounds pretty good. A few nibbles and a cold, crisp glass of white wine sounds even better.

Square 1682: 71.0

Not cold enough to see your breath, granted, but cool enough. Hit the bar for a classic, shaken gin martini and you’ll be feeling no pain.

Giwa: 85.5

What’s really sad about this is, as uncomfortably hot as Giwa is inside, it’ll still be almost 20 degrees hotter outside by the time we reach our peak temperature today.

Happy Rooster: 69.0

Yes. Go here now. We’ll meet you there. (They were also very friendly to our brave temperature-checker, so they get bonus points.)

Ladder 15: 77.0

We had high hopes for Ladder 15. But 77 degrees just ain’t gonna cut it on a day like today.

Oscar’s Tavern: 73.5

A decent AC set-up for this blue-collar classic. Also, no one’s going to look at you funny here if you start drinking early.

Nodding Head: 80.0

Maybe it’s because the bar/restaurant is upstairs. Still, it’s no excuse. Next!

Oyster House: 72.5

Hit the raw bar, feel the cold rolling off all that ice, order a dozen oysters, maybe a lobster roll and just…chill.

500 Degrees: 83.5

Well, it’s not quite 500 degrees inside, but 83-and-a-half is already too hot. We’ll find some place else, thanks.

Butcher & Singer: 68.5

Sixty-eight degrees? Yeah, we’ll be right over.

Applebee’s: 66.0

This is the first (and hopefully only) time we will ever suggest that you might want to consider visiting the local Applebee’s. But if the temperature really does break a hundo today, that sixty-six degree reading at the bar will feel pretty goddamn good…

Good Dog: 77.5

Maybe you can grab a burger at Good Dog and then sneak it into the Applebee’s?

Misconduct Tavern: 72.5

Get to the bar. Lay claim to a stool. Don’t leave until the sidewalks stop melting.

McGlinchey’s: 78.0

Dive bars are awesome. But not when you’re sweating out the whiskey faster than you can drink it.

Jose Pistola’s: 77.5

Theme bars are awesome. But not when… Oh, wait. Theme bars are NOT awesome. Almost ever.