Dear Kimberly: I Want to Find Romance. How Do I Ask My Friends for Help?

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Kimberly McGlonn is back with gentle wisdom to help you navigate life’s tough situations. Have a Q for Kimberly? Fill out the form here and we’ll do our best to feature it in an upcoming column.

Dear Kimberly,

I’ve been struggling to meet someone both on and off dating apps for the last five years. I’ll message with a promising person on an app, but after we go on one date in real life, they always say they “felt more of a friend connection.” I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong. To make matters worse, all of my friends are in relationships, so it’s hard to talk to them about my dating woes. They’re all so happy and I feel like I’m bringing them down by complaining about how hard it is. I know some bars host “Pitch a Friend” nights as a way to help people forge in-person connections. I want to go to one, but I’m nervous about asking one of my friends to pitch me. What if they’re not into it? — Unlucky in Love

Dear Unlucky in Love,

The struggle to meet someone and make a lasting romantic connection is REAL! (That’s lowkey been my story, too, so I get it.) While I haven’t gone the dating app route, I trust that what I’ve heard about them — a “cesspool,” for example — is true.

It makes total sense that you’re curious about participating in a “Pitch a Friend” event. You should totally do it! Last year, I went to one — one of my friends was being “pitched.” I watched as his best friend (one of our mutuals) went to the front and enthusiastically marketed him to the ladies in the room. It was hilarious and he took the experience like a champ.

While he didn’t discover a match that night, it was a great way for us to bond as a friend group, and it felt good to be there to support him. He told us the experience helped him get more comfortable with putting himself out there. It takes confidence to watch others talk about you, and some social battery to patiently wait for someone to find the courage to come and say hi. That openness did eventually lead him to meeting a woman he’s really into. (They just made it “official!”)

Tell your friends you’re ready and optimistic about meeting someone — then let them know it’s time for them to play their part! A few will find the time and energy to throw together a few slides for you, get up on stage, and showcase how lovely you are. It’s going to be an entertaining night either way. And who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky!

With courage and care,
Kimberly