10 Scientific New Year’s Hangover Cures

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If you’re planning on overdoing it tonight (is that something a person plans for, really?), don’t sweat. I mean, you’ll probably be sweating as you clutch the porcelain throne and yell, “Why, God, why?!”, but that’s the choice you made when you decided to over-imbibe.

While you won’t get a lick of sympathy out of me (sorry), I will try and help you out—or at the very least, sober you up in time for that company-wide staff meeting at 9 a.m. on Thursday. I give you: the 10 best hangover cures the Internet has to offer. You’re welcome.

1. Chow down some asparagus before you go out.
via The Body Odd

A 2009 study found that eating asparagus before a night of drinking may mitigate the hangover later. While some experts disagree, no one’s going to tell you not to eat asparagus. So just do it. Hey, what can it hurt?

2. Eat toast or crackers when you get home.
via Men’s Health

Carbs will help stabilize your blood-sugar levels while your liver works overtime to process all that alcohol. Outcome: you’ll be less tired and irritable.

3. Chug water like its the last drop you’ll ever have.
via TIME

One of the reasons you feel so awful after a night of heavy drinking is that your body is absolutely, positively parched. No matter how much you dread putting more liquid in your body, just do it. Water can only help.

4. Eat pretzels and a banana.
via U.S. News & World Report

You’ll want to replace the salt and potassium your lost after you broke the seal and started peeing every five minutes. A handful of pretzels and a banana can help.

5. Take a shot of pickle juice.
via Mental Floss

Long the favorite hangover cure of vodka-chugging Russians, pickle juice will help further replenish your depleted electrolyte supply, if the pretzels don’t do the trick.

6. Drink prickly pear juice.
via nbcews.com

Eight ounces of the stuff supposedly helps by alleviating hangover symptoms like dry mouth and nausea. You can buy prickly pear extract at some health-food stores, or you can whip up this virgin prickly pair mocktail, courtesy of Dr. Oz.

7. Sip ginger or peppermint tea.
via Greatist

If nausea’s your main issue, some ginger or peppermint tea may help. Both have been shown to help settle upset stomachs and reduce motion sickness (hello, spinning room).

8. Drink coffee and pop an aspirin.
via The Telegraph

A 2011 study from our own Thomas Jefferson University found that the caffeine in coffee and anti-inflammatories in aspirin counteract the headache-inducing effects of alcohol—and does so without causing further dehydration. Just make sure you take aspirin, an NSAID, not Tylenol. The latter, which is acetaminophen, takes a toll on your liver—exactly what you want to avoid when that organ is already working overtime to deal with the alcohol in your system.

9. Go for a run.
via Greatist

After you’ve properly rehydrated, you might consider doing some light exercise to chase away the remaining hangover symptoms, so long as you can muster the energy (and if the room has stopped spinning, of course). Although there are no studies to prove it, exercise will get your metabolism going and release endorphins, which help improve your mood and can even relieve pain. (If you’re looking for a workout to do, here are a ton of suggestions.)

10. Whatever you do, do NOT drink more alcohol.
via Health.com

The old hair o’ the dog trick is a myth. Think about it: how would adding more toxins do anything good for your body? While drinking a Bloody Mary might make you feel a little better in the short run, more alcohol is pretty much the last thing your body needs.