Donald Trump Should Probably Just Stay Out of Pennsylvania at This Point

Donald Trump at his bizarre rally in Oaks, Pennsylvania outside of Philadelphia on Monday night (Getty Images)

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Donald Trump Should Probably Just Stay Out of Pennsylvania at This Point

Donald Trump seems to be a glutton for punishment, at least when it comes to the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.

First, he nearly gets the tip of his ear blown off in Butler, Pennsylvania. Hard to believe it, but that was just three months ago. Then, he pays a visit to the place where “bad things happen” — Philadelphia, of course — to debate Vice President Kamala Harris. “Cackling Kamala” not only didn’t cackle, she downright dominated Trump, a man who doesn’t like to be dominated, during the debate. Even Republicans couldn’t bring themselves to claim that Trump won.

But the debate was September. Now it’s October. And, well … Donald Trump still appears to have a Pennsylvania problem. He made a downright bizarre appearance just outside of Philadelphia on Monday night. Yes, Trump does and says some bizarre things. But 40 minutes of standing on a stage and just kind of doing nothing while rally-goers were wondering what the hell he was doing? That’s other-level weirdness for a guy who can’t keep his mouth shut. What do you imagine was going through his head during those 40 minutes of awkwardness?

That was Monday. Now it’s Wednesday. And … a bunch of prominent Republicans are joining Kamala Harris for a rally in, yep, Pennsylvania. Bucks County, to be specific.

If I were Donald Trump — and let me be very clear: I’m glad I’m not — I’d proceed directly to Mar-a-Lago and lock the door. Or buy a private island. Either way, it might be best to just take Pennsylvania off the Trump Jet itinerary.

The Heat Is (Not) On

Yes, as my wife and kids have been telling me for the last 24 hours, it’s getting cold. No, I am not turning the heat on. Sure, it’s going to be 39 degrees overnight, but that’s why God gave us flannel pajamas and extra blankets. And storm windows. (Seriously, you’re complaining to me about a chill while your storm window isn’t down and you’re walking around in a tank top?) Highs will be be in the low to mid 70s all weekend. So don’t talk to me about putting the heater on. I’m calling it December 1st — at the earliest. You always suspected I’d be horrible to live with. And now you have proof.

But Where Will We Get Our Tomato Pie?

It’s what a lot of people are asking themselves now that one of the region’s best tomato pie spots is closing its doors after more than 50 years in business. My answer? Marchiano’s — my family’s favorite for decades. Don’t sleep on their pepperoni and broccoli breads, either!

By the Numbers

12: Height in feet of a skeleton towering over a Delco lawn. Sure, lots of people have skeletons on their lawn this time of year. Some even 12-feet tall. But this one stays up year round and is decorated for most holidays and even sports Philly sports team gear, when we’re not sucking. Meet Mr. Bonejangles.

$0: Amount I’d bet that Philadelphia election workers will finish counting mail-in ballots on Election Day, based on this new report, which also explains why Pittsburgh’s Allegheny County will likely count all its votes before midnight. This gives Pittsburgh its one and only claim of supremacy over Philadelphia. Well, that and their six Super Bowl wins to our, uh, one.

85: Years that DiBruno Bros. existed in Philadelphia before being acquired by Wakefern Food Corp., the parent company of ShopRite. No word on whether this means I’m going to start walking into ShopRite for one thing and suddenly find myself $100 poorer, the way I do every time I walk into a DiBruno Bros. store.

Local Talent

And the big news in the Philly superstar world is … well … Bradley Cooper is rocking lots of “dad flannel” these days (note the Angelo’s hat in the one photo), as GQ feels the need to explain. Sorry. Slow news day in the world of local celebrities. But now I’m wondering if I need to buy some flannel.