CBS 3 Made a Cringeworthy Song for Its Meteorologists

What better night than Grammys night to show off our very own new weather song? Katie & Kate are everywhere! pic.twitter.com/LWxhjEW8gT

— CBS Philadelphia (@CBSPhiladelphia) February 13, 2017

My brain sings along every time I hear “Ode to Joy.”

But my brain isn’t singing the original poem or even The Hymn of Joy, which the choir at St. Martha’s parish used to sing every week when I was a kid. No, I’m singing an Action News promo from 20-plus years ago.

The lyrics in my head every time I hear “Ode to Joy” are: “Gary Papa, Gary Papa, he’s got sports on Action News.” It was a promo sometime in the 1990s for longtime Channel 6 sports anchor Gary Papa, who died in 2009. I will probably be singing “hockey, racing, golf and tennis, baseball, football, boxing, hoops” along to Beethoven’s 9th Symphony the rest of my life.

I say this because I want you to know I am open to enjoying local news jingles. But, yeesh, the jingle CBS 3 made and aired last night for its meteorologists is not as good as an “Ode to Joy” knockoff.

CBS 3 has been attempting a hard push to make its newspeople personalities ever since new management axed several longtime staffers in the summer of 2015 and brought on new people. I even saw flyers at Villa di Roma for a Pat (Gallen) vs. Tori (Woodill) segment with dueling mom’s gravy recipes that aired last week.

And, of course, Philly TV news has made its weather people into celebs for decades. CBS 3’s latest attempt is to get you to remember a weird 1950s-style jingle about Kate Bilo and Katie Fehlinger. They tried, but I don’t see this lodging in my brain like the Gary Papa one. Next time my suggestion: Rip off Beethoven. Maybe the Moonlight Sonata can be turned into something about Ukee Washington? I don’t know. Just spitballing here.