WTF Beauty: Why Is This New Tarantula Lash Trend a Thing?

Nope, not even close. | Images via Rafsy and Maybelline.

Lashes are everything  – that’s, like, rule #1 of makeup. A good coat of mascara makes the eyes look bigger, draws attention to the most beautiful asset on your face, and has the power to make even the sleepiest chick look wide awake. Clear mascara was the first bit of makeup my teeny-bopper-self was allowed to wear (Mom’s ingenious placebo), and since then, my lashes have been the most important step in getting ready. Seriously, have you ever left the house with all of your makeup done only to forget your mascara? You feel like a naked mole rat the rest of the day, despite the fact that your face is 99 percent done. Even if I’m just running to the gym on an off day, I swipe on a coat or two to look a little more alive. Bottom line: I feel really strongly about lashes, which is why this new trend of intentionally clumpy mascara is making. My. Blood. Boil.

For those of you who were spared the horror of that Maybelline commercial (scarred for life), I’m talking about the tarantula-leg clumps of lashes that big beauty companies are now calling “a thing.” Manga lashes, as they’re referred to, are named after Japanese anime cartoons, which in theory would make your eyes look like some version of this:

Cute in theory, right? | Image via Mangalinduzz.

Maybelline, L’Oréal, and (can’t believe I’m saying this) Vogue, what are you thinking? No, this does not look “edgy,” “cool,” or “totally amplified.”  It just looks like you let your toddler put the finishing touches on your makeup with years-old mascara. Or like it’s Tuesday and you never washed off the weekend’s makeup, and for some reason you keep adding more mascara layers on top of your crusty-ass lashes.

And don’t even try to liken this look to the fearless beauties of the ’60s and ’70s. Take Twiggy, for instance. She achieved her signature doll-face by meticulously painting “twigs” extending from her lower lash line (hence her nickname) and stacking three pairs of false lashes on her lids at once. That was edgy; this is just sloppy:

No, no, no, no, no. | Image via Maybelline.

So please, please, I implore the universe to take this trend out behind the shed and put it out of its misery. Immediately. If you’re going for that Twiggy-meets-anime-princess vibe, there’s a way to do it and do it well: Try adding a few tasteful notches of liquid liner to your lower lash line, maybe even stack a couple strips of false lashes on the top. But don’t be fooled into thinking that what TV commercials tell you is “in” is actually a good idea. Don’t support big beauty companies’ fugly attempt at commercializing an iconic look. We deserve better than that.