Judge Throws Out Nebraska Lawsuit Against All Homosexuals [UPDATED]

See you in court, all of you. | Shutterstock.com

UPDATE [5/7/2014, 11:48 am]: Looks like we’re safe, gays. A judge in Omaha has thrown out Nebraska woman Sylvia Driskell’s lawsuit against all homosexuals. Omaha.com reports:

In a strongly worded opinion, [Judge John Gerrard] said it is not up to the court to decide whether homosexuality is sinful.
Gerrard said Driskell lacked subject matter jurisdiction and cannot sue a class of unidentified defendants. Driskell did not set forth a factual or legal basis for a federal claim.

“The United States Federal Courts were created to resolve actual cases and controversies arising under the Constitution and the laws of the United States,” Judge Gerrard said. “A federal court is not a forum for debate or discourse on theological matters.”

ORIGINAL: A 66-year-old Nebraska woman named Sylvia Driskell has shared online a hand-scribbled, seven-page manifesto in which she states her intention to sue homosexuals. Yes, all of us.

The petition includes several Bible verses, and the claim that “homosexuality is a sin and that they —the homosexuals—know it is a sin to live a life of homosexuality. Why else would they have been hiding in the closet(?)”

She goes on to say that “homosexuals say that it’s not a sin to be homosexual, and they have the right to marry, to be parents,” but that children raised by these “liars, deceivers, and thieves” will “grow up to be one of the three, or all three.”

Driskell says it is her responsibility to take on this case, because she is an ambassador to God and his son Jesus, and that it’s time to “start standing up for the moral principles on which our great nation, our great states, and our great cities were founded on.”

The case has a name, Driskell v. Homosexuals (no joke!), and it has been assigned to U.S. District Judge John M. Gerrard. So far, there have been no summonses issued, but watch your doorstep, gays!

(h/t The Week)