The 10 Most Insane Lilly Pulitzer for Target Auctions on Ebay Right Now

Yesterday, the 19th day of April in the year of our Lord 2015, the clouds parted, angels sang, and the Lilly Pulitzer for Target collection launched in stores and online. If you slept through the early-morning chaos, here’s a short timeline of what went down: 

• The backstory: Target announced a designer collaboration with Lilly Pulitzer. Many women were really, really pissed off.
• The date was set: Sunday, April 19th, sometime between 1am and 3am EST, the collection would launch online. Later that morning, it would be available in Target stores.
• We gave you these guidelines to nabbing your favorite stuff, and we warned you it was going to be a race to the palm tree-printed shifts.
• Early, early Sunday morning, computers pinged to life as countless women nervously refreshed the screen … and then … IT. WAS. ON.
• At 3am, Target shut down its website for about 15 minutes to manage the crazy traffic.
• In-store, women rushed to fill their carts with merchandise and the collection sold out within minutes at most stores.
• Target announced the collection would not be restocked. Ever.

I don’t wear Lilly Pulitzer and I slept soundly through the shopping furor, but even I got angry at pictures of women pushing carts overflowing with merchandise, most of which is clearly destined for resale sites (see: this). Already, there are over 28,000 results for Lilly Pulitzer for Target on Ebay. Let’s see what you can buy, shall we? Here are 10 hilariously marked-up items that you can buy or bid on now. (But don’t.)

1. Here is a patio set (two chairs, an umbrella and a pouf) for $749. Original retail price: $265.
2. This plus-size women’s shift dress, now up to $380 (you still have two days to bid). Original retail price: $38.
3. This plus-size maxi dress in a Sea Urchin print for $400. Original retail price: $44.
4. Four ceramic mugs for $180. Original retail price: $30.
5. A weekend bag for $200. Original retail price: $50.
6. Here are decorative string lights for $175. Original retail price: Er, $25.
7. Here is (an admittedly sort of cute) strapless maxi dress for $200 (starting bid $150). Original retail price: $34.
8. Here is a pair of size 8 women’s flip-flops for $150. Original retail price: $16.
9. We also have a woven basket for $149.99. Original retail price: $35.
10. A glass hurricane candle holder for $114.99. Original retail price: $25. (Let us also note that the seller’s name is “sexandthecityluva.” Please don’t buy this.)

This is crazy, guys. To every woman who bought more than her fair share of this collection: I hope all your sea urchin shifts shrink in the wash.