The Following Recap: Carroll’s Clubhouse and Really Kinky Sex

Like the Miami Heat, half the drunks on the Erin Express last weekend, and Frank the Tank, The Following is streaking. Two weeks in a row of episodes in which the enjoyable outweighs the implausible. Could this have something to do with the absence of Claire and her whining? Possibly. Or yet another well-placed song to close out the episode (Danzig’s “How the Gods Kill”)? Definitely (at least for me and the five other people who could name that tune). 

The show opens as Carroll tries to convince Joey that he’s a “cool and fun guy … er, dad.” His parenting technique: Stare creepily at your estranged son while he sleeps. Joey gives him the cold shoulder and disbelieving eyes, more proof that he’s the smartest character on the show. Outside the Mar-A-Lago-sized estate where these nutjobs are somehow hiding out undetected, we meet the first of two major new characters, the oft-mentioned Roderick. His role in Carroll’s plan was to become the sheriff in a Nondescript Small Town, thereby giving Carroll’s crew police protection and a safe hideaway. He’s a strong addition to the cast; like Carroll, he has a haunting charm, but with an all-American flavor (and a penchant for rough sex).

We also meet Nick Donovan, the new FBI honcho sent in to manage this debacle of an investigation (as he points out, Carroll has now escaped federal custody twice, most recently in a helicopter). His first move is to officially declare Ryan an “advisor,” which is wise, considering as long as Ryan is directly involved, they’re playing into Carroll’s hand. Of course, that wise decision doesn’t last long.

From the wild-eyed follower who bites into a poison pill surgically implanted in his hand to Mike’s decision to hack his new boss’s email, the semi-ridiculous is working better now. Chalk at least some of that up to an easing off of the heavy-handed Poe references (though if you look closely, you’ll see a portrait of the author waiting to be hung in the Nuthouse game room as Roderick gives Carroll a tour). Mike is sent home early for bad behavior, kidnapped and taken to a dock for some Fight Club action—a three-round bout in which fists, pipes and finally knives are the weapons of choice (because interrogation by waterboarding is so 2005). His opponent is Charlie, who wins 3-0 on all scorecards.

A few details of note from this scene and thereabouts. The FBI learns that Louise, the woman who helped Carroll escape from the parking garage last week, is a former Blackwater operative. Is the presence of ex-military types in Carroll’s gang simply a way to explain how proficient these followers are? Or will this have a greater significance at some point? Kudos to Ryan for doing two things that are rare in both television and film when he arrives to save Mike: taking tough shots without hesitation and actually hitting his targets. (Though what the hell is he packing? Tough to count how many he fired but it sounded like 20 to me. Extended magazine? Somewhere, Piers Morgan is preparing a town hall meeting on restricting the ammo capacity of fictional handguns.) I’d also love to hear from some female FBI agents on the realism and functionality of Debra’s wardrobe of fitted leather jackets and designer jeans.

It all ends on a violent, kinky note. After Mike survives being bludgeoned and stabbed, it turns out he really did know where Claire was stashed (coordinates he’s certain to reveal to Ryan next week). Back at the Nuthouse, Emma’s stalker crush on Carroll is in full effect, and Roderick reveals he failed to find Claire. Charlie decides that he’s let the boss down one too many times and does what any respectful psycho-in-training would—asks Carroll to kill him. (There goes Emma’s shot at Employee of the Month.) Louise dutifully lays out a plastic sheet so as not to soil the oriental rug with Charlie’s blood and Carroll tenderly sinks the knife deep. Self-sacrifice and homicide is quite the aphrodisiac, as moments later, everyone’s banging—Roderick and Louise, who doesn’t mind a near-fatal choking with her foreplay, and Emma and Carroll, while he’s covered in Charlie’s blood. Where is little Joey when the freaks come out at night? Hopefully in his room, concocting an escape plan. As the feds prove time and again that they’re no match for Carroll’s scheming, he might be the only one who can take his daddy down.