The Lesbian Dating Project
T.J. Davis, founder of The Lesbian Dating Project (illustration by G Philly)
Dating. It’s all about the dating. That’s why Philly’s T.J. Davis launched The Lesbian Dating Project on Tumblr as a way to rethink how lesbian relationships are portrayed in the mainstream media – and how women communicate with each other.
“This project is for both lesbians who are struggling with finding quality connections and relationships in the dating scene and also for lesbians who are in relationships and simply want to keep the spark alive with their current partners,” says Davis.
The site tackles everything from sex, money and fidelity, to honesty, loneliness and coming out. Davis encourages other lesbians to share their personal stories, too.
“I am also collecting surveys from lesbians across the country to get their thoughts about their current dating scene and what the benefits of The Lesbian Dating Project would possibly have on their dating life,” she says.
Her end goal? To encourage women to consider healthier, smarter relationships. “I want to help decrease ‘over before it started’ relationships that result in cheating drama,” she says, as well as to add a little spice to the community and “introduce a creative way for people to save money while dating. Most importantly, in a effort to promote healthy and more promising connections or relationships within the lesbian community, I’ve launched this dating project to help encourage people to take their time and thoroughly date a potential interest.”
She even shares some tips with us:
1. Don’t settle. If you’re single, go on 50 or even 100 dates before settling down with someone.
2. Keep the passion alive: If you’re already in a relationship, make time to go on your own dates. “Keep your date nights spontaneous,” she says.
3. Be selective: Don’t waste your time with women who don’t fit your own lifestyle or goals. “Don’t settle because of loneliness,” she says. “Patience is key.”
4. Fight boredom. “A lot of times dating becomes boring because we are guilty of settling or getting too comfortable with a potential interest too quickly and we start to do same things all the time,” says Davis. Change things up so you don’t end up at the same dinner and same movie theatre each week.
“I’ve seen some friends who seem to have the perfect relationship break up after years because they hit a point in the relationship where there were no more surprises, sparks, excitement and everything just became too routine,” says Davis. “They didn’t know how to be creative, romantic or happy with what they had because they let the relationship get boring.”
Davis says she wants to not only be an advocate for the women’s community, but also inspire a dialogue about some of the issues impacting gay women (lesbian bed death, anyone?). “I’m simply looking to put the quality, integrity and excitement back into the lesbian dating scene.”
So what do you think? Does the lesbian community really need dating help? Or is there such a thing as overanalyzing romance? Share your good, bad and ridiculous dating stories with us.
