Cotoletta
Cotoletta offers classic pastas, solid seafood, and a starter of provolone-and-sausage-stuffed hot peppers (the last a must-get), but really, you come here for the namesake cutlets – five varieties, made with chicken, veal or eggplant, each pounded thin and fried to perfection, all slices of pure home-style comfort. 201 Jefferson Street, Bala Cynwyd, PA 19004, cotoletta.net.
Baked Sunless Tanning
Consider a perfectly bronze, all-natural spray tan your reward for all those sunny days down the Shore spent slathering on SPF 100. Feeling lazy? They'll come to you. In-store spray tans start at $35, at-home treatments at $55. 815 South 4th Street, Philadelphia, PA 19147, bakedtanning.com.
The Velvet Lily
If Condom Kingdom is Walmart, The Velvet Lily is Bergdorf's. (Note: All purchases come packaged in discreet black bags, so you can buy-for, you know, your "friend"-without letting your freak flag fly on the way home.) 1040 North 2nd Street, Philadelphia, PA 19123, thevelvetlily.com.
Philadelphia Pet Hotel and Villas
You can rest easy leaving your precious Precious at this kennel/spa/playhouse when you're off to the Shore, but here's fair warning: She may never want to come back home. Do you throw her birthday parties? 7401 Holstein Avenue, Philadelphia, PA 19153, phillypethotel.com.
Chickie’s & Pete’s
Bars with food trucks inside. Bars with strict dress codes. Bars with 18-ingredient cocktails that take 15 minutes to make. Blah, blah, blah. When it comes time to watch the big game–or any game, for that matter–the only place I want to be is at any of the dozen or so area locations of Chickie’s & Pete’s. You and your too-cool friends can roll your eyes at my vulgar plebeianism, but while you’re at your tin-ceilinged, Edison-bulbed speakeasy, I’ll be sitting happily amidst an ungodly number of huge TVs with sound, drinking cheap beers and scarfing down crack-like Crabfries. If you come to your senses and decide to meet me for the next game, don’t ask the waitress if she has that $14 single-cask goat-tears-infused craft beer, or you might get stomped. – Victor Fiorillo chickiesandpetes.com.
Porcos
Porcos' takeaway window. Photograph by Michael Persico When you’re in the middle of a deadly global pandemic, the ideal restaurant experience is one that involves the least amount of actual human contact. Which is why Porcos — a literal hole in a wall out of which come some of the city’s best porchetta sandwiches — is the perfect vision of our restaurant scene’s current moment. This takeaway window on Washington Avenue (which shares space and a menu with Small Oven Pastry Shop) was up and running before the virus hit, but present circumstances have made it invaluable. 2204 Washington Avenue, Philadelphia, PA 19146, smallovenpastryshop.com.
Ukee Washington
The Los Angeles Times story in January detailing the racist/sexist culture promoted by some New York-based CBS executives aired a lot of dirty laundry about Philly’s CBS affiliate, much of which involved those execs’ despicable opinions of lead evening news anchor Ukee Washington. That Washington rose above the fray, summoning the love and support of the region, comes as no surprise to those of us who’ve adored him all along.
Lux Natural Teeth Whitening
It’s time to accept that we’re all so vain (cue Carly Simon) and just want to look good. And when it comes to getting pearly whites, Lux takes the gold with its plant-and-mineral-based gel that’ll lift your teeth up to 12 shades in a single visit. No irritated gums, no worn-away enamel, no waiting forever to see results — time to throw away those lame at-home strips. 1650 Market Street, suite 3600, Philadelphia, PA 19103, lux-whitening.com.
Musi
Musi’s menu ventures somewhere in between the familiar and the unknown, with dishes like kreplach stuffed with kale-purslane-cabbage kraut. The restaurant — which chef/owner Ari Miller calls “not totally Jewish, not quite Israeli” — is stretching the imagination of Philly’s fine-dining scene. Come here to be taken out of your culinary comfort zone or possibly just eat some pasta that the menu says has nothing to do with Italy. 100 Morris Street, Philadelphia, PA 19148, musiphilly.com.
Carmen Miskel
Some of us spent the pandemic honing our talents; others spent it learning the best times to access the state liquor-store website to place booze orders. (Hey, it’s a skill, too!) Miskel falls into the former category. After the New York Times announced an art contest — theme: “Coming of Age in 2021” — the teen from Bryn Mawr submitted a striking cartoon panel about loneliness during COVID that was one of just 25 winners selected from more than 4,000 submissions.
SU20
Finding great sushi in a strip mall in Blue Bell is like finding a good plate of spaghetti and clams in Indianapolis — unlikely. But then there’s SU20, a sushi bar and Japanese bakery behind an acre of parking lots. It’s all smooth jazz on the radio and matcha mille crepe cakes until the fish starts coming to your table, and suddenly you’re kicked awake by some of the most stunning sashimi and hand rolls in the suburbs — or in the city, for that matter. 736 Dekalb Pike, Blue Bell, PA 19422, su20bluebell.com.
The Cat Nap Mini Facial at Herban Skin Therapy
Don’t let the duration fool you: This 40-minute facial involves serious skin care. With 20 years of experience under her belt, Kristen Bauers Alvarez steams, cleanses, exfoliates and hydrates your skin — and massages your upper body, to boot — with the utmost care and organic products, some of which she’s crafted herself. It makes coming back to reality that much easier. 143 West Walnut Lane, suite 204, Philadelphia, PA 19144, herbanskintherapy.com.
The <em>Preston & Steve</em> Show
Radio shows come. And radio shows go. But WMMR’s hilarious morning program has had us laughing our asses off for close to 20 years — and more before that at its previous home on Y100. Sometimes you just need a silly escape from all the doom and gloom, and this is exactly what Preston & Steve provides. Fart jokes and all.
Bravado Philly
Because you can’t shop for a BVI vacation at 9 p.m. the night before you leave, Pamela Caruso and Jennifer Rossi will bring the racks (and plenty of coordinating accessories) right to you. The concierge stylists have also sourced $55 black-tie gowns and held meetings in day-care parking lots — they can even arrange for a tailor to come to your home or office. bravadophilly.com.
Premier Art Installation
You're probably capable of hanging family photos on the wall, but when it comes to fine art, you should turn to a pro. Kevin Reissmann of Premier Art Installation is a professional installer for the Philadelphia Museum of Art who also hangs priceless pieces for collectors in the area and beyond. (Clients have included Coretta Scott King and Usher.) He'll even move your masterpieces, should you need to relocate your Renoir from the Devon estate to your home in Miami. premierartinstallation.com.